Why are the Dutch so direct?

  • Опубликовано: День назад

    David WenDavid Wen
    подписчиков: 26 тыс.

    The Dutch are one of the most direct people in the world. And Dutch directness is one of the biggest culture shocks for foreigners-some may even perceive it as rude.
    But what is Dutch directness? And where does it come from?
    Let’s hear from foreigners-and Dutch people. And there's actually science and history to explain why the Dutch are so direct. Let’s find out!
    ⏰ CHAPTERS:
    00:00 Intro
    01:05 Culture shock of Dutch directness!
    01:55 The science of Dutch directness (Culture Map)
    03:19 "Peach & coconut" cultures
    04:50 What do Dutchies think of Dutch directness?
    05:48 Pros & cons of Dutch directness
    07:05 Where does Dutch directness come from?
    08:46 What have I learned?
    📽 OTHER VIDEOS:
    🇳🇱 10 Reasons Why I love the Netherlands - • 10 Reasons Why I ...
    🇳🇱 Dutch Culture Shocks - • What are the bigg...
    🇳🇱 What is it like working in the Netherlands • What is it like w...
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    😁 WHO AM I?
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    #dutchdirectness #cultureshocks #lifeinthenetherlands

fok +1573
fok

For a Dutch person, to not to be indirect means to be insincere and possibly even considered rude. Why waste each other's time or giving false hope? Just be direct and we know how to move forward. It isn't rude and you don't have to feel offended. You immediately know where everyone stands, and you can still convince others... and they may even tell you how!

2 месяца назад
Remi Schmitt +65
Remi Schmitt

I believe you used a double negative wrongly: ' to be indirect or 'to not be direct' is what you mean (i think).

2 месяца назад
David Wen +49
David Wen

Thanks for sharing, interesting to hear!

2 месяца назад
HK-47 +20
HK-47

Yup, i agree. Reminds me of apologists who spend 10 minutes to answer a yes/no question (and hiding the fact they don't want or can't answer)

2 месяца назад
JurrBTful +27
JurrBTful

As another Dutch person, I can't completely agree with your statement. The Dutch are quite often rude. We lack certain social skills because we're not the most empathic people.

2 месяца назад
TIM L +9
TIM L

100% some people are so good at turning around a point that you dont even know what they are saying anymore. I dont see the purpose of being indirect, it can be really confusing and as you say it seems a waste of energy and time (yes i'm Dutch xD)

2 месяца назад
ZhetaRho +247
ZhetaRho

As a Dutch person working for an American company, I really had to get used to hearing 'Great question!', EVERY TIME a question was asked. When everything is 'awesome', 'great' or 'the best it's ever been!', those words lose meaning and I never know when you truly appreciate my feedback, or this or that is really going well. By now I realize 'Great question!' just means 'I am glad you are interested enough in what I said to ask a question and I want to encourage you to ask more questions in the future'.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +27
David Wen

"Amazing comment." Haha but interesting to hear how that is perceived (I realize that I still do that quite often).

2 месяца назад
Smegma Lasagna +6
Smegma Lasagna

I agree. I strive to only use words like ‘fantastic’ when I truly think that something is fantastic so that my words actually carry weight in the eyes of people that know that I function this way.

2 месяца назад
Aygi Can +12
Aygi Can

I had a workshop in Turkey last month, from a company coming from USA. The dude kept saying “awesome question” whenever we asked anything. It was a bit annoying to me. Lived 10 years in Nederland and i must say that i never felt directness being rude. It is jusg as it is, direct, straight to the point

2 месяца назад
a ghost +9
a ghost

The only context i know that someone would say great question is if they don't know the answer and need to think about ik for a second.

2 месяца назад
wtf gebeurd mij +1
wtf gebeurd mij

​@David Wen haha nobody seemed to get the joke. I think it was funny

2 месяца назад
SuckTitles +34
SuckTitles

As another Dutch person has already pointed out, some of us really *are* actually rude and the cultural directness might make that hard to pinpoint. One red flag is when a Dutch person takes this weird pride in their own "directness". Another one is when one's behavior is often excused as "just their typical directness" by either their peers or themselves. In both these cases, odds are it's an actual toxic person who uses this "typical Dutch directness" as a free way ticket to bully others.

2 месяца назад
Methos
Methos

Yeah there's a lot of nuance to it. In my experience it's often a person being toxic more than anything else but that's also not everyone. Again there's a lot of nuance that you can only pick up on if you've lived here for a long time.

24 дня назад
*Lotus Pocus* +1
*Lotus Pocus*

Bravo 🥁😍

16 дней назад
Viokaia +42
Viokaia

As a British person now living in the Netherlands for almost 3 years, this was something I really had to get used to. Now, I really love the directness - there's no trying to figure out where someone stands or any falseness, you know where you stand from the start (even if it catches you off guard sometimes!)

2 месяца назад
David Wen +6
David Wen

Thanks for sharing, me too!

2 месяца назад
Michelle K +15
Michelle K

It's interesting to see the Netherlands and Japan so far removed from the context spectrum. In history, the Netherlands was one of the earliest few who could successfully trade with Japan. In modern day, the NL and Japan have good business relations as well. My family is Dutch, my dad worked with a group of Japanese clients who really valued his work. Dad was placed quite close to the Japanese team lead during a work dinner, for example. Honesty and putting those words into action are really powerful in business!

2 месяца назад
Alexander Burgers +2
Alexander Burgers

Maybe a case of Opposites Attract, because Japan is known for being very sensitive to social hierarchy and not dissapointing those above you no matter the cost, which leads to a lot of indirectness. Pretty much the polar opposite of how the Dutch interact with each other, I'd say.

2 месяца назад
Methos
Methos

@Alexander Burgers Part of it is also that the Netherlands did a lot of trade throughout history. In business you learn to adjust when necessary.

24 дня назад
JorritMorrit
JorritMorrit

I feel like Japanese and Chinese people as well can actually work quite well with our directness and it helps to achieve things. At least for the people that I talk with I feel this is true.

8 дней назад
Carise Balke +29
Carise Balke

As a Dutch person I went to England with my school the thing my English teacher kept repeating was ‘say twice as much thank you as you are used to.’😂

2 месяца назад
It's Michelle +1
It's Michelle

love your teachers direct way of dealing with British culture haha

Месяц назад
W. Bro
W. Bro

They told me i should speak patwa if i wanted to pretend to be cool.

3 дня назад
David Zhatana +867
David Zhatana

Being Dutch, I would just like to add that there are also people in the NL that are just plain rude. So the trick is learning to recognise when people are just being honest/direct with you or when there's an asswipe just being rude to you. 😅

2 месяца назад
Daniel Robertson +13
Daniel Robertson

But how? Unless someone goes out of their way to help you (rarely happens), "Dat kan niet" is just the universal conversation killer.

2 месяца назад
Mark Jacobs +4
Mark Jacobs

I mean, who cares. The assholes can stay rude, no big loss there!

2 месяца назад
David Wen +46
David Wen

Thanks for sharing David. There will always be rude people—we can ignore them =)

2 месяца назад
DaVince +14
DaVince

​@Daniel Robertson I'd say that if you ask why and they don't come with a proper explanation, you'll know they're likely just being rude.

2 месяца назад
Johan Dierink +10
Johan Dierink

@Daniel Robertson If someone rarely goes out of their way to help you, and just says: it is not possible, without context or follow up...I don't know what your routine is or where you are living. As a Dutchy I find people very friendly and they surprise me everyday. So let's say the "rarely happens" is very anecdotal. I don't see " dat kan niet " as rude in itself and try to piece together from context/subtext/body language if they are being rude. Also if you are bothered so much by it that the conversation is "killed" , while the other person doesn't see the harm or follows their cultural norm then in a way you also killed the conversation.

2 месяца назад
dabsan123 +20
dabsan123

As someone who is half Japanese half Dutch, I honestly think directness as shown by the Dutch is the healthiest way to go about things. Overall, I think it's healthier for the mental and emotional in the long run.

Месяц назад
David Wen +1
David Wen

True! I’ve come to appreciate that. Thanks for sharing

Месяц назад
Apoptosis Duellinks
Apoptosis Duellinks

Maybe this partly explains the relative happiness of the Dutch. I don't know if the mental health of the Dutch is relatively good though

28 дней назад
Methos
Methos

@Apoptosis Duellinks Mine sure isn't but then again i'm not everyone so yeah.

24 дня назад
Paul van Maanen
Paul van Maanen

That's why the Dutch are among the happiest people on the planet.

11 дней назад
Anne Jacquemin +28
Anne Jacquemin

I studied translation and have dutch directness (mom is dutch, father is french). My teachers would always say this influenced my translations and I had to "elaborate" more. I told them that "elaboration" was the cause of mistranslation and we headbutted a lot until graduation😅

2 месяца назад
raceregos +1
raceregos

I had never thought about translation. It certainly would be interesting. And obviously it's not your responsibility to add the extra "softness" which doesn't even exist in the first place.

Месяц назад
Anne Jacquemin +2
Anne Jacquemin

@raceregos The French like to make their writing "fancy", so they add unneccessary words in order to ressemble Latin languages (despite being from germanic descend, which is found in their oral language). Germanic languages have a tendancy to be a bit more blunt (except German, which adopted Latin grammar and put it's own spin to it😑). It's a matter of how much the sub-language (Latin) has influenced the main language.

Месяц назад
Anne Jacquemin
Anne Jacquemin

@User 007 Nah, Dutch directness = "we don't take kindly to bullshit, so get to the point or else". Otherwise pretty cultured and down to Earth. The Dutch Royal family are the most involved royals in Europe.

Месяц назад
Nisa Prinsze +13
Nisa Prinsze

Dutchie here! I also would like to note that Amsterdam (which is very often used as synonym to the Netherlands and where I feel most foreign people seem to move to) is the place where people are the most direct. (and other major cities) Other areas of the Netherlands actually have another pace at which they live, where directness is actually less prominent. Amsterdam's bluntless/directness is actually a concept on it's own, where even other Dutchies sometimes can't handle it at all. If someone is really direct: "(S)He's probably from Amsterdam" or shortened to "Amsterdammer" Other Pro's to directness: I know where I stand with people AND I can adjust to that (or choose not to). It saves me from being stabbed in the back! I can't read people's thoughts, so they'd have to tell me if they would like something from me. Simple example: A collegue of mine placed his half-empty cup on a table right behind a door. (he did that more often) On occassion, if another collegue walked in and opened the door too wide, the cup fell to the ground spilling the coffee. Instead of mentioning this to the owner of the cup. The other collegue cleaned it up and went on with her life. BUT she kept a grudge! Everytime he placed that cup on the table she'd be angry. "Cant he see that that's a problem?", she'd say behind his back. I asked: "Did you tell him?" She hadn't and was planning on trying to make him see the problem without telling. Direct me asked the first collegue not to place the cup there because it could fall over when the doors opens. His reaction: "Oh, didn't think of that." He never placed the cup there again, crisis averted, by just being a bit more direct. So yeah, being direct can sometimes even save (work)relationships. Also, I think the "Are you stupid?"of Sven Kramer was actually unneccesarily rude. I get why he didn't want to say it, and it's fine that he didnt want to, but calling someone stupid is still rude.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +3
David Wen

Thanks for sharing the long reply Nisa, appreciate you! I've lived in Maastricht and can tell the difference. And great example of directness! Communication is usually the biggest challenge at work (and in life)—and often, having that conversation can be the solution to the biggest challenges we all have (of course that's not always easy too).

2 месяца назад
Res +2
Res

I disagree on the amsterdam part. Ever been to Friesland?

2 месяца назад
bont3 +1
bont3

@Res Or Rotterdam The Hague? they'll tell you no all the time and to do "normaal". I'd even argue that Amsterdam, with all the tourists and internationals living there is less direct then the other cities. But overall, going away from the cities to the east and south it becomes less direct and "warmer". If that's the point she was trying to making I'd agree

Месяц назад
Soup la Doop +46
Soup la Doop

As a person who lives in the Netherlands, I have noticed the Dutch are direct, but they are also easy to make friends with because of this. You know what they want and what they like and where they stand. This makes is easy to adapt yourself to them so that you both can have a good time which further deepens the friendship. I've also noticed that a Dutch person will visit my house or invite me to their house way earlier into the friendship than people of different cultures do.

2 месяца назад
marloes +8
marloes

Interesting, as my uncle (he and I are both Dutch) said that the Swiss like the Dutch because of this exact reason. He worked in Switzerland for a few years.

2 месяца назад
Colin van den Mosselaar
Colin van den Mosselaar

Exactly this. The coconut thing is bs.

2 месяца назад
12 gauge
12 gauge

* if you’re Dutch yourself and don’t have a noticable accent. If you’re a foreigner that’s not from Suriname with an accent, forget about being friends with Dutchies

2 месяца назад
littlebighumancom
littlebighumancom

Agreed, the coconut analogy didn't really match for this reason.

2 месяца назад
dalyxia +1
dalyxia

Well, when invited to your house, we might call your curtains "leuk, maar niet mijn smaak" (nice, but not my taste) which is a polite way to say we find them ugly.

6 дней назад
Tessa Bakker +47
Tessa Bakker

As an autistic Dutch person, I am so very glad that my culture is more inclined towards just getting to the damn point, it saves so much time and gives me exactly the feedback I need from the interaction.

2 месяца назад
Ginny Wolfs
Ginny Wolfs

Exactly❤

2 месяца назад
Laura D
Laura D

Same! I've autism to and the culture makes my directness much less of a big deal. And I can actually understand what they mean without second guessing

16 дней назад
Wil Leo +1575
Wil Leo

I think a Dutch person would just say: no wednesday is not possible. He would not even thank you for asking. As a Dutch person, too much polite words make me uncomfortable. When someone is obviously making efforts to hide the true message in order to protect my feelings, I start to suspect that his true message is much more hurtful than it seems because apparently he thinks I can not bear the truth. There is nothing hurtful in my unavailability on wednesday so why be indirect about it?

2 месяца назад
Gerwin Murre +174
Gerwin Murre

Exactly, I would just say something like: "No I can't do wednesday, maybe friday? Or next week tuesday I'm also still free."

2 месяца назад
Mcjiprock +115
Mcjiprock

Exactly we follow up with a solution to make it clear that we really would like to go. Just not that day.

2 месяца назад
Peace Frog +77
Peace Frog

Also if you really don’t want to do something you say it. So if someone invites you to go to a soccer game, and you hate soccer, you usually don’t say that you’re busy and maybe some other time, but you might say: no i don’t like soccer but how about we go bowling sometime. We think it is very practical to be clear and honest, and it prevents a lot of misunderstandings.

2 месяца назад
Ruben Janssen +27
Ruben Janssen

@Peace Frog jup a perfectly good response for the dutch would be "no i do not like the sport" (i even notice how dificult it is to translate that to english in writhng). and say somthing like: "we could plan somthing else for another time"

2 месяца назад
George Saint +28
George Saint

Ha yes, I was thinking the same. I myself would just say: "Ik kan niet woensdag." (I can't on wednesday). I would see no reason to even say sorry.

2 месяца назад
Luuk 's-Gravendijk +35
Luuk 's-Gravendijk

As a Dutch person I feel like our directness keep us connected and real with each other.

2 месяца назад
Kasul the Casual
Kasul the Casual

Now if only we could teach the dutch to take their shoes off when entering someone's home. That would be so awesome!

2 месяца назад
Luuk 's-Gravendijk +5
Luuk 's-Gravendijk

@Kasul the Casual this really changes per household around the world. I always do except for when theres a party or something

2 месяца назад
Smegma Lasagna +1
Smegma Lasagna

@Kasul the Casual When visiting a place with a culture that has taking your shoes off when entering someone’s home, sure. But in the case of our own country, why would we do that?

2 месяца назад
Laurens Van der veer
Laurens Van der veer

@Kasul the Casual but then my feet get cold😅

2 месяца назад
Yo
Yo

@Smegma Lasagna for hygiene. You went outside with those shoes and then walk around with those dirty shoes in your home

2 месяца назад
Sense008 +82
Sense008

From a slightly different perspective. I am a Dutchie and I am also on the autism spectrum. I like clear and direct communication, because if it isn't I have to work really hard to find the intent of what someone is saying (that part has to do with my autism). Having traveled a bit in countries that have a much more indirect cultures was a lot of fun, but conversations could be exhausting, because I would always have to try and figure out intent from context. This made blunder a few times too. I am pretty lucky that I was born in culture that prefers direct communication, because that is what my autistic brain prefers also.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +11
David Wen

Thanks for sharing. A few other Dutchies with autism also mentioned the same reason too.

2 месяца назад
Franc Wieling +1
Franc Wieling

i'm Dutch and have autisme aswel. And i prefer direct communication aswel . Its hard to filter true all the information to figure out what someone actualy trying to say.

2 месяца назад
m +2
m

Same! It's a shame though that not everyone here is direct, there are still a lot of people I know that talk around the point and it always confuses me so much

2 месяца назад
Methos
Methos

I have autism as well and being from Limburg i can tell you that people are a bit less direct here. Now having been born and raised here and having a light form of autism i do pick up on those nuances but it can be annoying. Then when i do go up North i'm not as used to the directness so i just get confused again. This stuff can be real tough.

24 дня назад
John Visage +7
John Visage

I'm Belgian and my country is like the opposite of direct but i visit the Netherlands a lot and i love that directness, you don't have to guess what Dutch people think about you or other things.

2 месяца назад
Britney Shropshire +4
Britney Shropshire

I’m Dutch with an American dad and a Dutch mother. I grew up bilingual and have dual citizenship. Whenever I visit my family in the states I notice how much of a culture shock it is for me whenever I visit a store or a restaurant. Usually in Europe, when you go shopping you’ll be greeted , asked once if you need anything maybe and then they usually leave you alone. In the states it seems like a whole ritual. They greet u , ask you how you’re doing, if you’re looking for anything special. Compliment you on your outfits ( even when you’re wearing the most basic shit ever 😂) and telling you about special offers “you have to try our new yadayada”. Even if you say “ oh i’m just looking around they check in on you every 10 minutes . It honestly made me realize how much of an introvert I am bc I hate social contact and I got so overwhelmed and over stimulated by just one afternoon of shopping 😂. And most of those people were really sweet and I actually like talking to Americans. It’s just funny to me how much more reserved we are as Dutch people when it comes to customer service.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +1
David Wen

Hah thanks Britney, I can relate with everything you just said. I see these differences now when I go back…and I am also an introvert and get annoyed when it’s too much (ironic because I used to work in customer service so I may have annoyed a lot of people!). But yeah customer service is another thing…if we say Dutch directness is efficient and saves time, American customer service is more efficient and saves more time from that point of view

2 месяца назад
Tricky D
Tricky D

"In the states it seems like a whole ritual. They greet u , ask you how you’re doing, if you’re looking for anything special. Compliment you on your outfits ( even when you’re wearing the most basic shit ever 😂) and telling you about special offers" 🤔This probably is because of the American tipping culture. If the custumer isn't treated like royalty he'll loose a big tip. 😤As a Dutchie I find this highly insulting, cauz I'm not gonna grovel for a lil' bit of xtra 💵.

Месяц назад
Alex
Alex

Funny that you should say this because most of my friends (we're all dutchies) often complain about not liking having employees talking to us when we're just minding our business shopping. Especially regarding clothes. I feel quite similar actually. Everyone I know does, now that I think about it. For me it's kind of a: I am a grown adult with a brain. I know you work here and are available to me should I need help. If I do need help, I will gladly ask you for it. If I don't need help, I would prefer you to not talk to me and make me feel like I'm being watched. It makes me feel like I'm not quick enough, or that I look lost. I prefer to feel like nobody is paying attention to me.

13 дней назад
Alex Gnatiuk +11
Alex Gnatiuk

As Ukrainian, I like that because we are also direct in communication. Of course depends from ppl btw 😁

2 месяца назад
Maarten Kuif +233
Maarten Kuif

I'd even say that CEOs and professors in the Netherlands have even more respect for employees/students that argue with them in a direct and (for Dutch standards) respectful way, as they prove to be creative and critical thinkers.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +28
David Wen

Thanks Maarten—yeah I've learned that "arguing" back constructively can actually be a good thing. Well, it's actually what makes "high performing teams" (Patrick Lencioni's "5 Dysfunctions of a Team")

2 месяца назад
Reinier NN +1
Reinier NN

Maybe at universities professors do like that.....until the student proves he is much better thinking and arguing than that professor . Only a few professors do really appreciate that.... At lower level education (basic school (grammary) up to highschool) only a very few teachers will accept those arguing kids....especially when they are telling the reacher is wrong. (I remember one teacher, mathematics, who told us when someone pointed at a mistake/wrong answer that he was testing if we were awake in the classroom....he also was one of my most appreciated teachers because the humor in accepting those things.) But also in the Netherlands you are not allowed to tell other people how very good you really are (in work/learning/sport ) Even difficult when you're a supertalent. That is much easier in the USA and more apreciated.

2 месяца назад
Gert-Jan van der Lee +7
Gert-Jan van der Lee

Yup, I always told my boss if what they wanted was a bad idea and why it was a bad idea. It was almost always appreciated as it saved time and/or money. Very few times that I was told to do it anyway.

2 месяца назад
Fred Puntdroad
Fred Puntdroad

Strictly depends on where you are. I was in two faculties at the time while studying. First faculty you ask if it's okay to discuss something later and you get "Appointment? Just walk in when it suits you, I'll tell you if I've got time", then I walk into the Faculty of Law to ask something and I'm stared at like "You're a student. TF are you doing here, in my office, without a prior appointment?"

2 месяца назад
Gert-Jan van der Lee
Gert-Jan van der Lee

@Fred Puntdroad Seems to me it depends on the preference of the teacher not the location.

2 месяца назад
Jenna Van Gemert +2
Jenna Van Gemert

Dutch directness also implies to telling people what your insecurities are. It helped me a lot to just tell people whatever you're insecure about. This way, people will take your insecurities in account while conversating and not be like "oh this person is being really awkward for no reason"

28 дней назад
David Wen +1
David Wen

Thanks Jenna. Oh, I've been studying "emotions" over the past year...and "directness" has helped me become more "OK" with expressing my emotions. I mean...I think they're two separate things—being honest and being OK telling people your insecurities (eg. being vulnerable)—but directness does help.

25 дней назад
Koen +13
Koen

About being conscious about directness: I just had a really Dutch style conversation with a top fortune 500 company based in the US. We had a major issue. Me and a collegae really spoke our mind. I am almost certain the other side was aware of Dutch directness but I could see a range of emotions. So after our negative feedback backed up by examples and evidence we took about 15 minutes (1/4 of the entire meeting) to make shure the busines relationship was still ok/ ok again.

2 месяца назад
jesse kieboom +2
jesse kieboom

Aaaah, the old. 'this is the work floor so we separate our work from our personal feelings, but we don't mean anything personal. So afterwards we bring back our personal and fun self to reconnect with each other on a personal level.' trick

2 месяца назад
David Wen +2
David Wen

Thanks Koen. Yeah I can totally relate to this. I do trainings on giving/receiving feedback and well...yeah giving (negative) feedback is just not easy in general...especially cross-culturally

2 месяца назад
Pascal Altena +18
Pascal Altena

I'm Dutch. My experience is that a lot of Dutch say A but think/do B. Most Dutch people often take pride in their supposedly direct communication style but really, out of, say, 10 Dutch people I would say 5 "act" direct (they communicate assertively but really aren't telling you what they actually think), 4 aren't direct at all (i.e. beating around the bush, or just politely not saying stuff to be socially desireable) and the remaining person actually is direct (meaning they say what they actually think about a subject, ask hard questions etc). So many times I heard a Dutch person say A but found out they do (and thus think) B.

2 месяца назад
David Wen
David Wen

Thanks for sharing Pascal

2 месяца назад
Unilythe +2
Unilythe

I think it's all relative. I used to think the same as you do, I didn't really see how we are so direct. There's a lot of "diplomatic" ways to give negative feedback, for example. You wouldn't literally tell someone their idea is shit in 99% of the cases, even in The Netherlands. Then I went to the US for 3 weeks, and that changed my mind real quick. Compared to there, yeah we're really direct. And the proof is in this video: Lots of expats in this video noticed the directness. For example: In The Netherlands, when you believe an idea is bad, you can just say "Yeah but your idea wouldn't really work because of reasons A and B". Apparently, this isn't very normal for many other cultures.

Месяц назад
Pascal Altena
Pascal Altena

@Unilythe I had the same experience with Americans. I agree with you. Compared to the Americans (at least the ones you and I dealt with) the Dutch are super direct.

Месяц назад
Moxxym +9
Moxxym

On the part of arguing with professors: it's a huge part of getting to the level of your professor, being able to bring up opinions and being able to hold discussions over topics that most of the time there isn't a solid answer for is one of the biggest skills a scientist can have and therefore is heavily stimulated by both professors as well as universities as a whole here. Its a big difference with other countries but something that really elevates Dutch higher education above other countries

2 месяца назад
Inu Endo +4
Inu Endo

Had a Dutch colleague in uni and imo he was way more friendly and punctual than other students from say, Japan or Brazil. If you asked him to study at the library, it was fast yes or no, boom done. No shyness or quietness, we wouldn't stop for food or coffee, he was direct and efficient. He was also very outdoorsy, a blast to go biking with.

2 месяца назад
Nina W +139
Nina W

As a Dutchy I think the Dutch ice skater was not direct, he was rude. There was no reason to call that woman ‘stupid’, direct would have been: ‘no I wont do that.’

2 месяца назад
Arturo Bianco +7
Arturo Bianco

Well you might have a point that it was a bit strong but i could have frased it excactly the same without the intend of being rude. The idiot part is more an indication of why would you even ask the answer is no so don't do it again. I do agree that its not the most polite form of saying things and you are better of not to do it to compleet strangers like he did.

2 месяца назад
Kane Huijbers +22
Kane Huijbers

he wasnt rude.. she was by wasting his time... why do you want to take an interview when you dont even know the guy?? So she is just using the guy for her benefit thats rude

2 месяца назад
Nina W +18
Nina W

@Kane Huijbers And then that is typically Dutch… considering calling someone an idiot ‘direct’, instead of rude. There were tons of things he could have done that were just as direct but less unfriendly.

2 месяца назад
Nina W +8
Nina W

And actually: then he should have said thát to her, being direct is saying what you mean, so : ‘i think you’re wasting my time, i wont do that.’ Instead of beating around the bush and saying something else. Being direct doesnt necessarily mean you have to insult anyone.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +3
David Wen

Thanks Nina

2 месяца назад
B B +11
B B

this is even the case in the Dutch armed forces. there is often consultation with the group in order to arrive at the best action. the commander ultimately has the last word, of course. but we are aware that together we know more than just the commander. therefore, especially with the engineers, it is often the case that important decisions about the assignment to be carried out are taken together and adjusted if necessary.

2 месяца назад
dragnar12
dragnar12

There is a reason the western military is not fully directed from the top any more. But instead the individual groups direct themselves. Its cus it works better and faster. Russia on the other had still works whit a top down pyramid system works really well for em

14 дней назад
Tomatohead FD +11
Tomatohead FD

I go to an international colledge in the Netherlands (has a dutch person). We have countless nationalities at the school and the ones ice spoken to all have different reactions. A Canadian Swiss student and student from the Caribbean found us to be rude but a German student liked the Dutch people, so did a student from Hong Kong. We even have a course in the first year to help new students deal with the culture shock that comes with moving to a new country.

2 месяца назад
Fred Puntdroad +3
Fred Puntdroad

Chinese tend to get along well with our default communication, in my experience. Theirs is a strange culture, very direct in its own way as well. There are different terms for family members based on seniority as well for strangers with a certain generational appearance in relation to yours. If you're 20 and interacting with a woman aged 45 who's for example providing you a service, you can refer to her as an auntie, from aunt. It's a low-trust society and people tend to not mince words about anything besides politics. But because it has such indications of seniority built into the language itself, there's not really any courtesy in sentences. They do however use silence as a form of non-confronting anger, and that can be very confusing. A fairly recent example on television was the idiot singer Gordon appearing in some sort of trashy talent scouting thing. Gordon makes an incredibly insensitive joke towards a Chinese participant, a joke that was lame since 1980 even if you don't believe in being sensitive. You can tell the Chinese guy is fuming angry and there's a dead silence to signal it (according with a pretty good "Dude, really?" stare), but Gordon thinks it's approval for his lame joke because he's not being verbally called out on it.

2 месяца назад
Tomatohead FD +1
Tomatohead FD

@Fred Puntdroad Very interesting, thanks for sharing :D

2 месяца назад
Alexander Burgers +1
Alexander Burgers

​@Fred Puntdroad Interesting, (as a Dutch person myself), that totally doesn't match my experience in business dealings with people from China, but it's a big place... The people I dealt with were all small talk, how are you my friend, bla bla, want to ask you a question if you have time, bla bla. And in my head I'm like, just start with the damn question, it's online conversation spanning a massive timezone difference, there's no need for all this.. conversational foreplay. I play along cause I don't wanna be the rude one, it still feels massively pointless.

2 месяца назад
Fred Puntdroad
Fred Puntdroad

@Alexander Burgers But I imagine you communicated in English and it was all online?

2 месяца назад
Alexander Burgers
Alexander Burgers

@Fred Puntdroad yeah, that's the case. Maybe it's different that way from personal interaction, but (from my perspective) no matter how you look at it, it's weird starting an online conversation with a concrete goal/question, with small talk and platitudes, it feels disingenuous.

2 месяца назад
Peter Tholen +6
Peter Tholen

An excellent explanation of the Dutch directness. Should be viewed by everybody visiting or moving the Netherlands.

2 месяца назад
HerrFinsternis +5
HerrFinsternis

It's always a bit sad the "dutch directness" issue is reduced to the question whether we are rude. There is actually a lot of nuance in the way we are direct. We also have introverts and extraverts, and we all have areas where we feel less or more comfortable to express ourselves. I guess a defining attribute about our directness is that more often then not we assume the other person is safe and snug inside their comfortzone and we approach eachother as such. Sometimes that's not the case and this is something we pick up on really quickly and act upon without even thinking about it. So no, we are not rude, we simply give eachother space to be who we are and our directness is a result of that because we are not in the habit of questioning it. Edit: In the comments someone gave an example that perfectly illustrates this. They said when you get an invitation to go to a soccergame it's perfectly fine to decline "because you don't enjoy the game of soccer". That's something personal the other extender of the invitation has nothing to do with, so why is it polite to sugarcoat or even hide it? As a concept that doesn't make sense and to expect such is what we would consider rude.

2 месяца назад
Ivy King +4
Ivy King

I'd say language is a very big factor here. Few foreign people learn to speak dutch, and there also lies a nuance in how to adequatley observe and state what exactly is this directness in culture, language and how people interact in daily life. We do have our way of interacting in pleasant way. To me being direct is being sincere, and that is the biggest honour I can give the people I get to meet. It's me offering them no reason to distrust me because they get to perceive me and decide for themselves if I'm someone they can relate to or not. I'd like to mirror this video by stating I don't feel I can trust someone who's keeping up appearance or/and etiquette and manners; I don't know who I'm talking to when receiving desireable replies. Fun fact: Even within the Netherlands there is a difference in how direct people are communicating and stating directly what they mean and think. In the North there's directness; few words to state exactly what you think, in the south much less so, like beating around the bush to entice people in your way of seeing the issue. Grts from Amsterdam

2 месяца назад
H +485
H

There's a difference between being direct as in communicating with clear intend vs having total disregard to someones feelings. This does not mean we are inconsiderate. Most Dutch people will know when to be honest and when to be polite and act interested. There's a time and place for everything.

2 месяца назад
Chris Laarman +7
Chris Laarman

Quite. I may add: Dutch people from several communities will express their irritation with you by making jokes meant to make you think. - Actually, I often intend my jokes to make people think, just not necessarily about their behavior.

2 месяца назад
HCShuffle +5
HCShuffle

Some people have their feelings hurt if they get criticised on something that is simply the truth. It's their problem, dutch people can't change the truth and won't say sorry for it. However we very often say things with some tact if the truth is very confronting...

2 месяца назад
Think For yourself +1
Think For yourself

Facts don't care about feelings fyi

2 месяца назад
Challie Wallie +5
Challie Wallie

Yeah, people always say it is 'being direct'. No, it is just being to-the-point/cutting the chase.

2 месяца назад
No Good Name +12
No Good Name

@Think For yourself While that is true, there's also a huge difference between being direct and just plain rude. As a Dutchie myself one thing I noticed a lot of fellow dutchmen do, especially to foreigners, is say this essay is not good, are you stupid? The part where they say someone's work isn't good is being direct, calling someone stupid is just rude, same goes when expats try to speak Dutch, I hear a lot of people, specially in stores, say "your Dutch is not good, (then proceed to insult them)"... Another example of someone using the Dutch directness as an excuse to be rude is that clip of Sven Kramer, calling the interviewer stupid is completely uncalled for and not an example of directness...

2 месяца назад
DaVince +16
DaVince

"There is little room to be creative." I think that's an interesting statement. If you're direct back, you can usually get to some creative new ideas. The barrier might more be in how you're communicating to each other rather than someone just not being open to ideas, suggestions or straight up different views entirely.

2 месяца назад
crab +3
crab

I was thinking the same thing! You need to combine directness and assertiveness. This way, you can have an honest conversation and actually get somewhere. Wonderful creative conversations and ideas can occur when people actually listen to eachother and don't beat around the bush.

2 месяца назад
Bruh BruhBruh +2
Bruh BruhBruh

Totally agree. Directness is not the same as rudeness, creativity or assertiveness. In fact, if someone decides the mentioned optioned aren't options (instead of trying to maybe make it work somehow) you are forced to come up with new ideas.

2 месяца назад
CountK +1
CountK

True. If your company is bottom up instead of top down, creativity is even enhanced in this culture because assertive employees will conribute because their ideas matter. You can't expect that every idea is followed of course but I don't think that you can translate that to "little room for creativity". If you bounce the ball around a few times, creative ideas can become more solid and might be a way to go forward. So assertiveness and directness might be a very contributing force here. The strongest brain storm I had, was about a marketing plan being almost fully worked out in half an hour because everybody kept bouncing the ball around and ideas kept on pouring. Once distilled, that plan was ready to go.

2 месяца назад
dimithetree +3
dimithetree

Tldr: respectfulness and honesty are on a spectrum culturally, and while the Netherlands definitely are shifted more towards honestly, we’re still pretty tame compared to for example Slavic cultures. PS note: I guess this explains why both Russia (similar in communication culturally to Ukraine, I’d say) and the Netherlands are on the total left at 2:46 with negative feedback. Being half-Ukrainian, half-Dutch, and living my whole life in the Netherlands, gives me a whole different perspective on things. For me, us Dutch are not direct. Ukrainians are. I guess it’s a scale wherein English culture is just… always being vague to people in order to not insult anyone, whereas Dutch people will tell you things much more quickly. However, a cashier at a store for example will still smile at you no matter how strange you act (unless you do something against the rules of course). A Ukrainian one would literally walk up to you and ask you what you think you’re doing. Witnessed it once or twice while I was in Ukraine (quite a while ago).

2 месяца назад
Jeroen +5
Jeroen

I'm Dutch and the indirect culture of other countries is sometimes hard to deal with. What do you mean and What do you expect from me. Do you want to say no or do you want help. Because being direct means being honest in what you want and need. Not so much about what you think about others. There is a difference

2 месяца назад
KronosFNaF +4
KronosFNaF

I'm Dutch myself and what I notice a lot is that we always put swears or random diceases in the middle of sentences to express how bad/awful something is while other countries have that less. I always focus on being more polite when I speak to someone outside of the Netherlands lol.

2 месяца назад
ijsbeer 149
ijsbeer 149

Lol, yeah a lot of people use cancer as an adjective here. I don't know why and don't like it. However that's not a part of directness imo. Making plans for me = call. Wanna chill on wednesday. Answer. Call over. Saying, "that race was cancerfast" isn't part of that directness, more just wanting to sound though. But that's my interpretation.

2 месяца назад
John Verheij +3
John Verheij

Great video! As a Dutch person it's refreshing to find out how other cultures feel about ours. You've very respectfully described our 'direct' culture and thoroughly answered all the questions that came up during the video.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +1
David Wen

Thanks John! Best regards, A 🍑

2 месяца назад
Wil Leo +349
Wil Leo

In favor of Dutch directness: in our culture, truth and honesty are very important. Giving someone the impression that you think they cant handle the truth is no compliment. You would underestimate their strength. Therefor, indirect messages are perceived as (somewhat) insulting.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +15
David Wen

Thanks for sharing Wil!

2 месяца назад
het edele ambacht +1
het edele ambacht

i can relate to that....

2 месяца назад
indykatley +20
indykatley

You can be direct AND polite at the same time, it just requires some skills.

2 месяца назад
Zeki Uygun +1
Zeki Uygun

Once upon a time I visited a church in The Netherlands, on a Sunday I just sat in the crowd and everyone did their Sunday prayers until it was over, and then all of the sudden a Dutch woman asked me: ''Can I ask you something?'', then I answered saying: Yes. And then she asked me: ''Are you a Christian?'', while others were hearing this as well. Like what the hell? I felt so uncomfortable after she asked me this silly question, I felt as if I was being discriminated and humiliated at the same time! That was just not cool as all, I told this to others as well and they just told me that she was not even allowed to ask me something like that.

2 месяца назад
Miciso +42
Miciso

@Zeki Uygun i mean... as dutch. she is just asking you out of curiousity. and wanted to have a chat maybe? but instead you turn her down. and talk shit behind her back. now thats rude....

2 месяца назад
Heike +1
Heike

I think another important aspect for the reason might actually be the language itself. (I am not sure about Dutch, but can talk about German which was shown pretty close to Dutch in those scales) - Trying to translate English to German gets especially hard when the passive is used for example. In German we just don't use it much and making it sound natural without losing the "indirectness" which the original text has can be pretty hard.

2 месяца назад
CorruptedSystem32 🎵 +2
CorruptedSystem32 🎵

I was born in the Netherlands and moved out with my grandparents to Costa Rica and eventually back into the Netherlands to live with my mother in 2010. Gotta say I’m still not over my culture shock. Also I’d like to add that at least in my experience (I have autism so there is space for bias, of course) people in the Netherlands are a lot louder as what goes for a normal tone of voice, and I often find it overwhelming… 😅 (my family is American and I’ve spent about half a year there as well, and for both Costa Rica and America I’d say people are a lot less loud there then they are here)

2 месяца назад
David Wen
David Wen

Thanks for sharing your experience!

2 месяца назад
yltraviole
yltraviole

That's interesting! The stereotype of Americans here is that they tend to be quite loud (though I'll admit the Dutch definitely aren't a soft spoken people...) I suppose it can differ a lot depending on which region from either country you're talking about, for instance, my dad from Limburg always complains about how loud Dutch people from the north can be.

2 месяца назад
Ai +11
Ai

Simple way to explain dutch directness and what it ultimately boils down to is...efficient communication.

2 месяца назад
Mar Ith +1
Mar Ith

I'm Dutch and I really struggle trusting people who aren't straight to the point. It's like you never know what to expect and it could change any minute. Sometimes, Dutch directness even feels harsh to me sometimes, but I definitely prefer it over non-directness.

Месяц назад
Rob 0945 +189
Rob 0945

For me as Dutchy the directness and honesty is a way of showing respect for another person. If I do not respect a person, I do not need to be honest.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +25
David Wen

Thanks Rob. Directness = respect. I respect that!

2 месяца назад
Miciso +8
Miciso

yeah agreed. if i see a fellow colleague mess up i try to immediatly adress it. instead of keeping silent and him making even more mistakes.

2 месяца назад
Rob Roy +3
Rob Roy

Zo nuchter als een Nederlander 👍🏻

2 месяца назад
wendy peeters
wendy peeters

True, i love the directness of our people❤

2 месяца назад
Caran +1
Caran

LOL...

2 месяца назад
Elisah Meis +1
Elisah Meis

I didn't realize I was so dutch until I had to run a forum community. When a mod did something wrong, (and everyone was gossiping about it) I would just tell them, but also try to work together to help them approve. (give tips, try to hear them out etc.) But alot of the time I got told, your directness shocked me. But in the end, alot of people did appreciate it. Because I didnt sugarcoat anything, but told it as it is, there was no confusing. And after that first shock went down they soon realized the reason I mentioned it to them was because I wanted to help them improve. Still, I am shocked by how people can beat around the bush so much. Just tell it as it is.

2 месяца назад
Michael Dongor +1
Michael Dongor

David, you’re awesome. Love how you took the best parts of directness to integrate into yourself. I hope my fellow countrymen and women coming into contact with you can learn to be more considerate and polite as well. It’s exchanges like this that balance our world ❤

2 месяца назад
David Wen
David Wen

Thanks Michael!

2 месяца назад
CountK +2
CountK

Words just weigh more in Holland. If you get a compliment form a direct communicator, you are sure it's from the heart and not for some shady reason or because of a hidden agenda. A second layer to dutch communication is that you can state emotional values as a reason why someone wants or does'nt want to do something. I sense that in indirect cultures (I live in Belgium, they are much more indirect) emotional values aren't really shared by direct communication but are avoided by reading between the lines. I still have trouble sensing the (to me) unclear communication about what somebody wants. And yes, people are raised in true democracy fashion at home. My kids have a say on what direction we go forward at home. Dutch culture also strongly uses everybodies opinion/expertise before going forward. Meetings often include a question round where everybody is asked if they want to add something to the meeeting that is relevant.

2 месяца назад
GIMME THAT TEA +1
GIMME THAT TEA

I'm Dutch but i still like to watch videos like this every now and again because i learn a lot about myself and my culture. I also just love culture shock. But anyways that exchange between Trump and Rutte just made me laugh so hard. I had no idea that happened

Месяц назад
David Wen
David Wen

Thanks and glad to hear you learned something! And that exchange…hahaha yeah made the whole world laugh!

Месяц назад
Car La +1
Car La

You explained it well David. I wish we could exchange certain people for Chinese, Japanese, Korean people. I think we have the same ideas about directness and respect.

2 месяца назад
David Wen
David Wen

Thanks!

2 месяца назад
Jay Kubb +104
Jay Kubb

I am a Dutch coconut and I once had an Iranian colleague. He explained the concept of Taarof to me, which is an Iranian form of politeness/etiquette. I just couldn’t wrap my head around how a society can even function like that… 😂

2 месяца назад
Blackadder75 +29
Blackadder75

I just googled that, yeah it's a mind boggling concept for us. I was in Egypt and we went sailing on the Nile. It was nice trip and there were like 5 layers of hierarchy from the boat owner to the deck swabber. (at least 3 of those layers were unnecessary from our Western point of view, but were a way to fight unemployment (create some artificial jobs) After the trip I wanted to give all the crew a little tip. Oh my, what a mistaka to maka! Since I didn't know the hierarchy, I would give one guy too much and another one too little, so I should just give everything to the boss and he would distribute it according to social ranks. So we did, (and then secretly gave the lowest rank some extra )

2 месяца назад
Joost Prins +5
Joost Prins

@Blackadder75 and you really believe they will distribute the money?

2 месяца назад
Blackadder75 +9
Blackadder75

@Joost Prins yes, an unfair distribution is still a distribution......

2 месяца назад
David Wen +9
David Wen

Wow thanks Jay, had to google Taarof myself. I've heard from travelers that Iran is one of the most hospitable countries to visit—not surprised. But yeah, I love to learn about cultural differences so thanks for sharing—the beauty of this world!

2 месяца назад
Daan Strik
Daan Strik

@Blackadder75 There’s a fairly big chance the “boss” kept everything for himself. Of course we don’t have the context for the situation. But my first thought was “he’s not going to share it”. The fact you actually gave him the money is rather surprising to me then. I expected the story to end with you distributing the money fairly.

2 месяца назад
Kubra Benelli +14
Kubra Benelli

On the two scales the Netherlands and Germany are very close, but in the business and company culture the two are very different with Germany being very hierarchical. And about Calvinism, the Netherland is very different from most Scandinavian countries who also are influenced by Calvin. (just observations from a dutchie)

2 месяца назад
Ingmar Spit +1
Ingmar Spit

I appreciate directness because next to avoiding misunderstanding eachother which is good for business, it also helps me help others better. Please, dont hide your wishes, just tell me what you need or prefer so I can help you improve your day. That said, having worked with people from more indirect cultures helped me be more successful in communicating negative feedback in a more constructive way.

2 месяца назад
Jonathan Joyhill +1
Jonathan Joyhill

This is very relatable. I, as a dutch person has had several problems with these differences in directness, for example, in my mother side of my family. These are the most direct people i have ever met, and i had problems trying to communicate with that side of the family because my fathers family was way more emotionally engaged and empathethic. When i got older however, i started to understand their love language a lot more and i have never felt more at home in my family than i do now. So if you do plan on coming to the Netherlands, just remember that we can be very friendly but blunt at the same time :).

2 месяца назад
Pm-Nix64 +3
Pm-Nix64

As for a Dutch person i do understand how it can be rude because my mom is from Ghana and can take the simple answers as rude while if i do the same for my dad or dutch friends they don't really care how i say it so yeah big difference of my African and Dutch part of the family (and i always speak English to friends which effected my accent to the point that my teacher thought i was american)

2 месяца назад
David Wen
David Wen

Ah two very different cultures. I can see the differences. But that's a very unique part of you!

2 месяца назад
SomeoneCool2 +1
SomeoneCool2

As a Dutch person, and having an autism for life, I often warn people that things I might say that are offending just to give them heads up in this case when I talk to them. I had to learn that I have this autism at my 50th year, so I have been coping with that fact of 'rudeness' or 'blunt' for all those years and not really understand where I went wrong. Now coming to the point of your video, I find it enlighten that you study our culture and made this video, true that we are direct, but we do have our own quirks that people might pick up differently. But still, YOU HAVE A BROOD on your wall hanging, not many can say that! Thanks for the video man!

Месяц назад
Jean LeCocq +233
Jean LeCocq

I have worked in a US-based multinational and in every meeting you would hear Americans going: "I appreciate what you're saying, but... " followed by several minutes of yadayadayada. From the second word, everyone would know that the guy meant: nope. All the Dutch guys in the meeting would just say yes or no, and where needed defend their answer with arguments. I could never get used to the endless yadayada.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +18
David Wen

Hahaha I know what you're talking about. APPRECIATE YOU!

2 месяца назад
Miss Moon🌙 +8
Miss Moon🌙

If you think about it: anything said before "but", gets dismissive.

2 месяца назад
K Nafta +1
K Nafta

Sometimes more is less

2 месяца назад
Ron Rolfsen +5
Ron Rolfsen

@Mladen Ivanov Even in the Netherlands if you want a c-suite you most likely still need a silver tong and a lot of yadayadayadaing.

2 месяца назад
Miciso +3
Miciso

dutch meetings be like: sir honestly if we did this we would work faster. instead of beating around the subject and land on said point after 10 minutes. we see problem. we point at it. we fix it.

2 месяца назад
horrorhouse16
horrorhouse16

I'm Dutch, and I think this directness is mostly seen in the big cities of the Netherlands. I come from a small village in the Netherlands where people tend to be way less direct compared to the big city areas. When I go to cities like Amsterdam, Rotterdam, or Nijmegen, I notice that people there are way more direct, and even I can perceive them as rude. So i really think it depends on where you live in the Netherlands.

2 месяца назад
N1h1L3 +1
N1h1L3

Even within The Netherlands there are distinct variations of directness. Basicly it is the difference between the urban areas containing the "randstad" (amsterdam, den haag, rotterdam, utrecht etc) and the nature/farmlands outside of it.

2 месяца назад
Stevie Hogendoorn +2
Stevie Hogendoorn

Great explanation. I already knew about our directness, but sometimes it's hard to hang out with US people since they indeed consider our directness as rude. In my experience US people will also almost instantly call you 'friend', 'buddy' or tell people 'I love you' when they hardly know you. They seem to be the opposite of our dutch directness.

2 месяца назад
David Wen
David Wen

Thanks Stevie. I get what you’re talking about

2 месяца назад
NOVA__Verse
NOVA__Verse

That's indeed very cringe for us Dutch if people say that they ''love me'' 🤦‍♂🤦‍♂

2 месяца назад
Noah +5
Noah

Sometimes direct answers in any way can cause some akwardness between people because the conversations are shorter and need to come up with a lot of topics to proceed the conversation. But overall the directness is very handy as well because when you are in a hurry and someone tries to talk to you, you can just ask to talk later without needing to worrie about the other person thinking youre rude. The best thing about our language is the scarcasm we often use 😂

2 месяца назад
Zuignap +1
Zuignap

On vacation I once listened to a 40-50 year oldish british woman talk about her experience being in the swimming pool 3 minutes ago to her friend. The way she described the waves clashing against her skin while floating on an inflatable tube with the sun warming the top of her body was crazy. Any dutch person would have said yeah the water's nice in this hot weather

2 месяца назад
Demon Akuoka +1
Demon Akuoka

I'm a Dutchman myself and I actually started wondering "am I that direct as well?". I know that I'm fairly nice to the people around me and respectful to the people I don't know, but just seeing how direct I sometimes can be online and in rl... I'm quite impressed to be honest.

2 месяца назад
Parmentier 7 +291
Parmentier 7

When I first went to the US, a supermarket cashier greeted me with "How are you?" I thought hey, what a nice woman, so I tried to have a conversation with her and asked her all sorts of questions. How she was doing, how long she's been working here if she lives nearby. She looked questioningly at me then? In the other store I was greeted in the same way, only then did I find out that it was a more polite greeting without content.😂 In the Netherlands, 'How are you' is usually said by friends or colleagues. And often they also want more information from me, either that I have not seen them for a long time or that I have been ill. If a Dutch cashier asks me how I am doing, I will say politely that I am fine, but I will think why is she asking me this, she does not know me, or am I doing something wrong, does she want to warn me for something?

2 месяца назад
Chris Laarman +5
Chris Laarman

Billi Connolly observed on stage (after having lived some years in California): What would you rather have: somebody saying "How are you? Have a great day!" and not meaning it, ot somebody saying "Get lost!" and mean it? - [I'm not sure about the words "get lost", but simething in that vein.]

2 месяца назад
Mola Diver +51
Mola Diver

​​@Chris Laarmaneing Dutch I prefer neither. How about just a simply hi or good morning if that's all you really want to say? Why make a simple exchange between a cashier and a customer so convoluted? To be honest I don't like it when people ask me questions they don't want the answers to. Just don't waste my time with these shenanigans.

2 месяца назад
rigididiot +5
rigididiot

Funny thing, that "how are you" in stores and shops... One of my first times visiting the US, I was with a bunch of shipmates in a shopping mall, and I entered a record shop. I was greeted with what I back then did NOT know to be standard "Hi there, how are you?" and I answered with what I thought was appropriate "I am fine, how are you?" which in turn was answered with a blank look as if it was unexpected. I was the only customer in the shop, and my shipmates apparently were still looking somewhere else, so I quickly peeked out the door to see where they went. When I turned around and went back into the record shop (making the door signal go "ding" again), The girl behind the counter AGAIN greeted me with a cheery "Hi there, how are you?". The exact tone, cdence, rhythm and intonation. Like a tape recording. It felt to me as if she had not even registered I was there 10 seconds earlier, as if she had not even registered that she said the same thing 10 seconds earlier, as if she did not even register that I was the same person that was there 10 seconds earlier, as if she did not even register that I was that strange guy that actually responded to her greeting in an unusual way (judging by the blank look I received the first time)... It truly felt like I was talking to a robot that only registered that the door-bell rang, or a person disconnected from reality... I found it so offputting that I looked around for 2 minutes for good form, and left the shop as quickly as I could.

2 месяца назад
Mola Diver +2
Mola Diver

@Matthew Norms can change. Just because something exists doesn't make it nice or effective. Same with American car depcendcy. If you don't know any better its OK but it actually is a financial and physical prison for many people. Old walkable neighborhoods are in high demand in North America and thus only for the wealthy. The poor are kept poor in the vast suburbs which are effectively huge deserts when it comes to shops, schools and other facilities. Parents driving their kids everywhere just to go places. In ever bigger cars which are basically the size of tanks that actually kill more people than they keep safe. All of which are the accepted ways of doing things but they're not necessarily good for people. This is not meant as critique per se. Just an illustration or how norms can derail until enough people get fed up with them and they change. It's not a bad thing to sometimes think about why things are the way they are.

2 месяца назад
Chris Laarman
Chris Laarman

@rigididiot 1) I do feel with you. :-) 2) I know the shop staff's automation, too. I have occasionally participated in collecting food for a food bank, outside supermarkets (in Amsterdam, so Dutch scale). One develops a routine of ever shorter questions. It was unavoidable to have people enter the shop a second time, like for rejoining their partner. But looking at a stream if people makes most faces familiar, so I did repeat my question. - I ultimately found a good excuse to use (with a smile): "I'm sorry. I don't store cookies."

2 месяца назад
Challie Wallie +3
Challie Wallie

The Dutch directness (which I prefer to call 'to-the-point') most likely stems from our centuries long history of trading across the borders. When communicating with someone in a less known language, you quickly find yourself dropping all the unnecessary chit-chat. First of all because you lack the vocabulary and secondly because it can create confusion. Time is money....just say want you want, cut to the chase and get it done. And that just has become second nature.

2 месяца назад
Franny +1
Franny

As a Dutchman I don't trust people that easily if they need too many words, then I think why do they beat around the bush? I'm looking for a reason why they don't just tell it like it is. But I think it's pretty well explained and I'm very proud of our honesty and straight to the point character!🌹

2 месяца назад
Kasul the Casual +3
Kasul the Casual

The hardest thing for me coming to terms with living in the Netherlands was that people thought me creepy, overly polite and a butt-kisser. I'm from Sapporo-Gaoka, Hokkeido... It took about ten years to dutch-up a little.

2 месяца назад
SideWalk Astronomy Netherlands.
SideWalk Astronomy Netherlands.

They probably though you were dishonest too, but did not tell you, that would be a bit over direct :)

23 дня назад
telefoon1978 +2
telefoon1978

We just want to be as honest as can be and not giving false hope, we cut the chase, and tell it as it is. We don't mean to be rude!!

2 месяца назад
Trifexa +1
Trifexa

Great video, i love how open you talked about it. im a dutch myself and you explained our story extremely well :)

2 месяца назад
David Wen
David Wen

Thank you =)

2 месяца назад
KootFloris +106
KootFloris

Directness was also born from fighting bigger powers. The English army had class hierarchy in their armies, which slowed things down, or could lead to major blunders. When you have a tiny army fighting such a nation, making fast quick decisions, having people act on what they see, not on the status of their commander can make a huge difference. We see this too in Israel, which feels surrounded by enemies (regardless of your political opinion on the matter) and needs versatile people being able to act fast. In 1672 the Netherlands was attacked by all neighbors, all who were bigger. The same with water defense: act quick, and have everyone on board, because not agreeing with political opponents should not sabotage the shared interest of keeping heads above water.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +7
David Wen

Thanks for sharing!

2 месяца назад
Daan Strik +4
Daan Strik

Huh, that actually makes a lot of sense.

2 месяца назад
Fred Puntdroad +9
Fred Puntdroad

Nice alternate history scenario, except we had class differences to a huge degree same as the UK had. My grandfather had a framed newspaper article about him: "Factory owner congratulates worker with birthday". That was news. The fact that one of 'the betters' had acknowledged the existance of a commoner. Well 'was forced to accept' was more like it. As a master-welder they couldn't go without him, their company relied on being able to perform seamless welds, and ask any welder today: Even with much improved modern equipment, that is still considered to be a feat of extreme skill, along with welding titanium.

2 месяца назад
KootFloris +4
KootFloris

@Fred Puntdroad We had class differences yes, and stupid leaders too. But the English are way more famous for stupid leaders making awful decisions common soldiers suffered the consequences from. Class differences work when things seem in order. When a system is under pressure you either drop big chunks of them, or f up.

2 месяца назад
Laura +1
Laura

OMG 👏Straight to the point. 👏I would love to work with Dutch people.👏 In the UK people go in circles about everything and over-explain a lot, it's so frustrating. At 5:38 I literally cried, the girl is speaking to my struggles. She is absolutely right.

Месяц назад
David Wen
David Wen

Haha thanks Laura for sharing (especially coming from the UK—the visual probably spoke to you!). Yeah I've come to appreciate directness—you save a lot more time and energy

Месяц назад
Martin Schlüter +1
Martin Schlüter

Thanks for making this video! Now I can share it with everyone that doesn't understand me. Among the Dutch, working in Quality Assurance, I often feel like I'm even more direct than the average Dutchie. But it's just about stating my thoughts, intentions and position in an open and not open to interpretation kind of way.

2 месяца назад
Guinevere +1
Guinevere

As a Dutch person myself, we do say a lot of times what we think and how we feel about certain things. However, I feel like if we don't get straight to the point you're only wasting time. Most people in The Netherlands appreciate honesty and being direct about things, as it's easier to trust someone like that. But also, because that's how most of us grew up with. We took it from our parents and yes I do agree when you're a child and your parents are just straight forward with things you're insecure about, it does hit a spot. But as long as it happens with good intentions, there is nothing to feel upset about. Of course there is a difference with being straight forward or just being rude. But I'm really sure you can see the difference and I also feel like most people appreciate direct and honest people more, than someone who doesn't get straight to the point ''in case they hurt your feelings''. Or when they're not being direct, but just rude. Because for most of us, a direct person is seen as a honest person. They're not afraid to share their opinion, which seems pretty trust worthy in my eyes and I believe in many too.

2 месяца назад
Racer Pepe +4
Racer Pepe

Dutch directness to me is all about saving time. I don't have time to waste. We are extremely busy people, often in a rush to get one appointment after the other. If the answer is no, then please just say no because there are at least 3 other things I could be doing in that timeframe. Not much is ever spontaneous in our culture, not even get-togethers or going out for dinner. Everything is planned weeks ahead and I like it that way. Time is precious.

2 месяца назад
JinxedDestiny +1
JinxedDestiny

As a dutch person I think that our language already sounds very sarcastic or rude but when we use too much nice words like please and thanks sometimes makes it even more sarcastic

2 месяца назад
Gert-Jan van der Lee +88
Gert-Jan van der Lee

I'm a big fan of our directness. The people that I get along with best are the most direct Dutch people, as within the Dutch population there still is some variation of how direct they are. And me being insecure in some aspects of life, I prefer the very blunt but honest truth. Leaving absolutely no room to misinterpret the message. And I'm often the same.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +2
David Wen

Thanks for sharing!

2 месяца назад
Gert-Jan van der Lee +1
Gert-Jan van der Lee

@Mladen Ivanov Maybe it was the way you said it?

2 месяца назад
Gert-Jan van der Lee +3
Gert-Jan van der Lee

@Mladen Ivanov That probably was the problem. As there is a difference between blunt but honest feedback and just insulting someone. It's a thin line between those two and when you get to know eachother better that line shifts.

2 месяца назад
sjorsbeans +1
sjorsbeans

i'm always extremely direct and alot of people appreciate it. They also ask my opinion aalot of times. If people get mad don't ask questions if you can't handle an honest answer / opinion : )

2 месяца назад
Quietus Plus
Quietus Plus

I was lucky enough to find a group of friends who were totally different than me. Me being awkward and insecure as heck, a loner (also multiple diagnosed mental issues). They just accepted me, and were very direct with me. Which ultimately helped me overcome a lot of issues. They make comments about my personality, but we all do about each other. It's just the respect and acceptance, which is so appreciated.

2 месяца назад
Jaexbricks +1
Jaexbricks

I actually did not know we were so direct! Super helpful video!

2 месяца назад
PoProstuNie +1
PoProstuNie

Hmm, I think I can see why some people from other countries might consider Netherlands a rude country. I live in the Netherlands but I was born in Poland, learning was actually way easier thanks to the Dutch directness, they were not beating around the bush and actually helped me to open my eyes. Even though I might not be as direct as most Dutch people, I am not the same as I was before arriving to the Netherlands. Which I think is a great thing, anyways.. Great video!

2 месяца назад
David Wen +1
David Wen

Thanks!

2 месяца назад
Berco +6
Berco

I'm a Canadian living in The Netherlands and the directness still affects me lol. Canada is quite indirect and I'm considered direct for a Canadian but that doesn't change how much more direct Dutchies are compared to Canadians. I have to remind myself of cultural differences and to try change my habits to be more direct with them as that's more respectful of their time. Been a struggle though!!! Had a couple moments talking to my Dutch partner about it and feeing frustrated.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +2
David Wen

I get ya. I'm quite indirect and had (still have) to get used to the directness. I've found myself to be more direct since living here...but yeah, I do try to adapt based on who I am talking to. Communication is challenging in general haha...but it's a two-way street. And the struggle is real. But...the struggle could also signal a potential opportunity for growth/learning too =)

2 месяца назад
Steve Mar.
Steve Mar.

Canada is quite indirect? Uh... you think??? 🤣🤣🤣 (moved to Canada before you were born)

2 месяца назад
meliodas +2
meliodas

8:23 this is so true😂, in my classes there are students who flat out don't leave the classroom when asked/ordered to do so and they talk back all the sh!t the teacher does😂😂

2 месяца назад
Juwel Playkid +2
Juwel Playkid

We’re kind of a jack of all trades. I try to be polite while still being clear in my message. Others are flat out rude and others don’t mean to be rude, but sound like it. In terms of education there’s also some stuff going on. We learn to be clear in our answers to questions. (I had another thing that we learned but I forgot what I was going to type.) If someone asked me to fill in for them I’d say something like: ‘Sorry, but I can’t. I’ve already got something planned.’

2 месяца назад
Rob van Scheijndel +33
Rob van Scheijndel

The shortest way from a to b is a straight line. By analogy with our flat country where we move from one place to another in an efficient manner, our communication also honors in this way. I enjoy working with people from all kinds of cultures and I am regularly struck by how many words these cultures use to express themselves compared to the Dutch. I take that into account in conversations, but I can't always avoid directness in my conversation. We're not usually rude, it's just part of our being. I always hope that other cultures keep this in mind when they meet a Dutch person, in the end we all have to do our best to understand and learn from each other.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +4
David Wen

Thanks for sharing Rob. Dutch efficiency indeed!

2 месяца назад
Fieke van der Peijl +1
Fieke van der Peijl

I think it’s very healthy to be direct and I love that I was born in a country where that’s accepted 😊

2 месяца назад
David Wen
David Wen

True, I've learned it's healthy to be direct. And you can be direct and polite too. Thanks Fieke!

2 месяца назад
Lars Ruiters +1
Lars Ruiters

As a Dutch guy myself this has been some what of an eye opener, i always have these direct thoughts altho, i sometimes just however decide to not say it. I think its important to notice that for example when the Dutch visits a comedy special, they will clap or pretend to laugh at a joke just to keep the show going or even if they didnt understand it they will still pretend they got the joke just so the person on stage wouldnt feel bad and continued the show.

2 месяца назад
s3ytn +1
s3ytn

the directness is definetly a respect game, i can never understand how much many cultures dance around things and never get to a point, its funny how they emphasize respect but will never say things the way they actually think them. Sharing your true thoughts is something to be respected, you get to look inside someone elses mind that way.

2 месяца назад
Raremuan +1
Raremuan

As someone from Flandria, Belgium, i can agree. We are ( i'm not sure tho) not as direct, but stil we usually get to the point. Hell, there is even a metafor about being indirect ( "rond de pot draaien", and it wouldn't surprise me if there are even more). We are encouraged in school to speak up about anything, say if we don't agree with what the teacher says and so on.

2 месяца назад
Primotef +2
Primotef

I may have found the reason I could never quite fit in - I learnt to sugarcoat EVERYTHING from seeing my mom do it. Being introduced to cultures via the internet where there is more context and indirect negative feedback(and also learning English from a young age) reinforced that sugarcoating to a degree that I used to misinterpret directness as insulting. for example, a few weeks back a friend canceled an appointment where we were going to hang out by a simple "I can't come", which made my heart sink. Ofcourse he elaborated further shortly after and we rescheduled but an included explanation would at least have cushioned the blow a bit

2 месяца назад
I3LiNdSp0t
I3LiNdSp0t

Yeah, I feel that. That is in fact quite normal. We, in general, should never forget we do not owe anyone any explanation about anything if it does not matter or concern the other party. Sometimes explaining a situation like that as you described cán make it feel worse if the reason is something that you think is not relevant enough to cancel a appointment. In some cases, if not most, explanations lead to arguments, which is very unhealthy and toxic most of the time. You will notice the difference when someone tells you the reason and it will always be something that one wants to share with you, whether it be a positive or negative direction. If it is something silly or just inconveniant, we'll less likely be explaning it.

2 месяца назад
Ducky Orwell +11
Ducky Orwell

Seen so many of these as a Dutchy, but you did a very nice job :) especially also because you point out how speaking freely is better then being bottled up.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +1
David Wen

Thanks!

2 месяца назад
Ernst B +93
Ernst B

Dutch directness, best example is Max Verstappen. He is an example of Dutch communication. He tells the people in the red bull team what is going good and wrong in the car. In the short time they get, he really makes a good set -up for the season and for the next race. It helps the team it helps him. You also hear it in interviews. It is not to be rude, it is a culture thing.

2 месяца назад
Gorgonzola +29
Gorgonzola

So true and that’s why he also has a lot of (social media) hatred thrown at him, because people misunderstand directness to be rude. He say’s it a lot of times in interviews, it is what it is. And that line can’t be more Dutch.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +13
David Wen

Great example!

2 месяца назад
johan +2
johan

He's flemish

2 месяца назад
Gorgonzola +14
Gorgonzola

@johan Flemish is not a nationality

2 месяца назад
Martin van G +8
Martin van G

Hij is direct, daar gaat het om!! En Vlaanderen praat Nederlands(gelukkig),dus hetzelfde volk👍🏼

2 месяца назад
Iron Snail +2
Iron Snail

In my experience I’d say us Dutch people don’t like saying one thing while our body language is saying the opposite. We are raised to try and be truthful instead of act nicely while everyone can read from your face that you actually think differently. But it’s not only being direct in hard conversations, it’s also saying a simple ‘hello’ while walking past a stranger if there is eye contact. Simple acts that break awkward situations which often go unnoticed in other cultures but they have a positive psychological effect on your mood. But the other side is that when challenged we can be quite ruthless with our speech. It’s not perfect but it works for most of us.

2 месяца назад
Charissa Paauw +1
Charissa Paauw

I'm Dutch/Surinamese and I like it when people get straight to the point. There is less room for miscommunication and misunderstandings. One will know where they stand whilst skipping useless or fake formalitie (Not all formalities are useless of course, it depends on the situation). You don't waste a persons time and I find that to be assertive and respectful. It's flexible as well because you can still disagree or ask questions. A direct answer does not mean the end of a conversation, you can still discuss and share your point of view. I used to think Americans were incredibly two-faced. But that was before I knew about the cultural difference. The overly niceness, followed by a (to me) cold shoulder was very confusing haha.

2 месяца назад
Shers Gallagher +1
Shers Gallagher

Great synopsis, David. I'm an ex-international educator who's American born and raised with strong Irish roots and a few friends and relatives still in Ireland. I've also been living and working at a British agency in the Netherlands for several years now, where we all seem to get along well with very few cultural conflicts having all become 'Dutchified'...hahaha. And I have no problem when I go back to Ireland to visit, fitting right in with a bit of teasing here and there about my sounding like a 'jackeen' :) 😁, that being a typical Dubliner's more directness. When I visit my American homeland, I don't recall any perceived problems with my somewhat changed expat personality, but friends and family have caught me up on occasion with remarks of me being bossy when I'm just thinking I'm being direct. Because I travel around a lot, though, I do try being more sensitive to the culture I'm in and/or returning to by toning it down with a few sprinkles of 'please' and 'thank yous', as well as modals thrown in-between. The Dutch don't seem to mind you being polite either...as long as you don't ramble, which I can do as a storyteller. 😏

2 месяца назад
David Wen +1
David Wen

Thanks Shers. Yeah what I've noticed is that I've become more to the point (direct) in how I communicate too. When I go back to the US, I also notice people/friends rambling more (perhaps I've changed, not them). But I am aware of where I am and who I am speaking with (that's key to communication as you probably know). Haha there have been countless Dutch comments here who have said "You could've said that we were coconuts in 10 seconds, not 9 minutes. Get to the point." But that wouldn't stick, would it? No matter the culture, our human brains are wired for stories =)

2 месяца назад
AdmiredDisorder +2
AdmiredDisorder

As a Canadian, I would attribute the indirectness as an almost emotional manipulation. It sort of broke me when it came to emotional abuse growing up and I found I preferred the direct approach over everything else within my interactions in my homeland. Personally, I find I respond reflexively to be indirect and attempt to soften the interaction when I'm placed in a situation where I could lose something big: housing, employment, medical support or my immediate wellbeing. I get uncomfortable at a perceived imbalance of power and immediately switch to trying to people-please instead of being firm but sometimes I will perceive a situation as an emergency and come off incredibly intense... I'm working on it but I find it's easier to work on when I'm around more direct people.

2 месяца назад
Jappo +2
Jappo

There is a dutch saying "doe maar normaal, dan doe je al gek genoeg" which translates "if you act normal, you're acting crazy enough". This basically means that you don't need to beat around the bush, just act normal/direct.

2 месяца назад
Jean Pierre Viergever +20
Jean Pierre Viergever

One other factor, compared to British English is that Dutch society is much more egalitarian than British society, especially historically where gentry played a much larger role in the UK than in the Netherlands. British English had developed various registers depending on which level in society one was. A series as Downton Abbey shows that very well. So in the UKit was much more required to adapt you language to whoever one was speaking with. Not so much in the Netherlands.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +2
David Wen

Thanks for sharing!

2 месяца назад
John +2
John

I’d just like to add, as a Dutch person, that stating directly that im not available on wednesday does not imply unwillingness, it could mean that as an easy way not to meet, but generally pertains to the assumption we would have to schedule a different day. ✌️

2 месяца назад
Naomi +4
Naomi

As a half Japanese born in the Netherlands, raised by peach culture indoors and coconut culture outdoors, I have had lots of culture shocks even though I have always been there :"D I still cannot let go of my peach side, though I guess my pit has grown a lot smaller and I'm turning more into a coconut from the inside. I pretty much dislike the shell of a coconut but I dislike the pit in the peach even more. Though as much as I don't like the directness of my culture - I just don't think it's very pleasant to hear - I prefer people to be more honest. I absolutely love Japan but I wouldn't ever want to live there as many interactions and relationships are built on lies. It is like a play with unwritten rules but if you break those rules you will automatically come across as very rude. Even when you think you are friends with someone, there is a huge chance they won't be honest to you about many things. If you fail to read between the lines, it will affect your relationship and you might not even know it until years later when it is already too late and frustrations built up over the years (frustrations that you failed to guess/see) have come to a boiling point.

2 месяца назад
David Wen +1
David Wen

Thanks for sharing Naomi. I can relate in some way being Asian American (being influenced by two very different cultures).

2 месяца назад
Sebgear +1
Sebgear

As a Dutch person. I'm incredibly used to the directness. So much so that when this video started I just thought; "what the fuck is this guy talking about". But you are completely correct. Most of us are extremely direct. I do think there is another positive outcome of this fact worth mentioning. By being used to direct communication we take criticism less personal and are more likely to see it as a point of improvement instead of a personal offense. Additionally, being open about who you are as a person, makes for a great way to get people to open up to you. I think one of the loveliest compliments I've ever received was from someone I met in the US. A girl descrived me as being the most 'genuine' person she had ever met. It honestly just made me smile thinking back at that moment. I will carry that complement with me for the rest of my life. However, in general, I did come to realize that, in the US for example, when you are meeting random people the tend to be overly sweet. To the point where I often felt like I had stumbled into an overly and forcefully happy game show. People would, upon finding out we're foreigners, often say things like "wouw really , the Netherlands?! That's amazing". While in the reverse situation I would likely say "Dawm! You are a long way from home. What made you want to visit the Netherlands?"

2 месяца назад
G. P. +1
G. P.

If I don't speak with a smile, people think I'm rude. I love it! it builds a ''you know what you get, what to expect '' mentality. I really enjoyed this episode hahahha (yes I'm one of those Dutchie who doesn't know when he's direct).

2 месяца назад
David Wen
David Wen

Thanks! Haha it's hard to know...but I think they become more apparent when we encounter different cultures.

2 месяца назад
prognemesiss +1
prognemesiss

Had a discussion once with a professor about a certain curriculum, which many people had difficulty with passing. I complained about a program that was used, because it was a shit program and i was wasting time learning the program instead of what was supposed to be taught. Next semester the program was ditched, assignments were done on paper. Grades changed from D's to A's.

2 месяца назад
Pitchfork Party! +60
Pitchfork Party!

There are rude people in the Netherlands -- because there are rude people in all cultures. The directness gets conflated with rudeness when there's a culture clash. Or maybe culture skirmish, is better way to put it? Culture kerfuffle? Good video! Can't wait to visit the Netherlands. Love the cycling culture!

2 месяца назад
Arturo Bianco +13
Arturo Bianco

O we do have real rude ones here. Just because we are direct doesn't mean we alwys have to voice our opinion. Even here we do have some standards of whats apropiate.

2 месяца назад
Pr1ns +4
Pr1ns

@Arturo Bianco agree, that's maybe one of the cons for me that some people use directness as an excuse to be rude instead but to Dutch people they would also just be seen as rude

2 месяца назад
You Know +2
You Know

@Mladen Ivanov There are allot of rude dutch people, its just in their blood

2 месяца назад
LoveBacon +1
LoveBacon

I’m from the Netherlands 🇳🇱 but I’m not rude

2 месяца назад
Geoffrey van Rijn +1
Geoffrey van Rijn

@You Know Oh yes says the rude person

2 месяца назад
Spiethstar +2
Spiethstar

Directness and politeness are qualities that can be learned and mastered. The coconut peach comparison is quite nice. Some Dutch people have thinker shells then others and some simple are mostly shell. I have trouble believing the shipping story. Yes, directness is good for quick and efficient trading. But most of the Dutch were not traders, right? This goes beyond trading I would guess.

2 месяца назад
RetroDuke +1
RetroDuke

You also notice it in the Dutch army. Though the military has a very clear hierarchy, the communication is still very direct and transparent. Also from lower ranked people. A bad leader will notice it very fast when making mistakes, even though they get the final say.

2 месяца назад
Maarten van Poelgeest +1
Maarten van Poelgeest

One thing I noticed about Americans is that they're way of being polite about something is saying things like, "thanks for asking that question", "amazing idea", "I can't wait getting to know you" etc. The funny thing is that a lot of these kind of phrases in Dutch are used really sarcastically. A friend of mine who is an exchange student said these kinds of things a lot when we first met and I genuinely thought he didn't like me because of that. After he explained himself I now understand that he was just being nice and polite and I felt so bad after.

2 месяца назад
David Wen
David Wen

Oh interesting, didn't know that. Thanks for sharing.

2 месяца назад

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